Have You Received His Image In Your Countenance?

When I was baptized, almost nineteen years ago, my life completely changed. Everything about me changed. I felt like a flashlight that had just had LED bulbs installed and super-charged batteries. I was super-Ali. Mega Me. I beamed like a light shot from earth directly into the heart of Heaven.

But, then the bulbs grew dim, the batteries began to fade and, well, my light that had shone so brightly just began to peder out.

I guess I know logically what should help me shine brighter, but still I struggle. The other night I was praying that I could receive Christ's image in my countenance, that I could let the light of Heaven shine through my eyes.

When I climbed into bed, I picked up my scriptures and started reading from where I had left off last. It turned out that I was on Alma 5, which if any of you remember, is an amazing chapter that speaks directly to what I have been feeling.

26 And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?
27 Have ye walked, keeping yourselves blameless before God? Could ye say, if ye were called to die at this time, within yourselves, that ye have been sufficiently humble? That your garments have been cleansed and made white through the blood of Christ, who will come to redeem his people from their sins?
28 Behold, are ye stripped of pride? I say unto you, if ye are not ye are not prepared to meet God. Behold ye must prepare quickly; for the kingdom of heaven is soon at hand, and such an one hath not eternal life.
29 Behold, I say, is there one among you who is not stripped of envy? I say unto you that such an one is not prepared; and I would that he should prepare quickly, for the hour is close at hand, and he knoweth not when the time shall come; for such an one is not found guiltless.
30 And again I say unto you, is there one among you that doth make a mock of his brother, or that heapeth upon him persecutions?
31 Wo unto such an one, for he is not prepared, and the time is at hand that he must repent or he cannot be saved!
32 Yea, even wo unto all ye workers of iniquity; repent, repent, for the Lord God hath spoken it!
33 Behold, he sendeth an invitation unto all men, for the arms of mercy are extended towards them, and he saith: Repent, and I will receive you.

There's more, and if you've been feeling at all like me, then I encourage you to read Alma 5 in it's an entirety. At one point I gave up trying to underline what was important to me and just put stars at the chapter heading because it is all meaningful.

But from this segment of scripture, I learned a little of what I need to do, what I can do, in order to receive a larger portion of the Spirit, to be a more willing instrument in God's hands.

First, I need to remember to be humble. To strive to be humble. Remember to Whom I have to thank in all things, for all things.

And with that humility, I need to remember that I am nothing without Him. That isn't empty talk, either. I was twenty one years old when I joined the Church--I know perfectly well who I was before the missionaries found me and taught me the gospel and I was nothing. Really. I was on a one-way trip to Nowhere Land and I was on the express train. Pride is my enemy and threatens to derail me.

Next, envy is my enemy. Be grateful for what I have, appreciate it, cherish it, and envy won't hold me back from fulfilling my destiny.

I should be kind to others, strive to ease their pain, be good to them. Don't gossip about another, or seek to hurt them in any way.

I need to repent always.

And finally, I need to remember that His arms are reached out to me still. He is always ready to hold me to Him, to bless me, to help me shine.