Eternal Families

I have been thinking alot lately about my sister Shelby Nicole. She is my older sister who would be 26. She passed away 28 hours after birth due to her lungs not being developed and some other problems. About a year and half later I was born. I have some great memories, even though I've never met her. When I was little we had a beautiful purple lilac bush in our front yard. I used to love cutting a huge vase full of lilacs and taking them up to her grave. We used to also go up as a family every few months and cut back the grass that was growing around her grave and put flowers up there.

I remember when I was in upper elementary school and junior high, I would have times that I would see her. There is one time that is still so vivid in my memory. I remember her standing at the edge of my bed, as a teenager, and talking to me. She gave me advice on things going on in my life that nobody new were bothering me. She reminded me that she was always with me. She talked to me about so many other things as well. I also remember these same type of situations occurring with my great-grandma Nielsen who I loved so much. Some of these memories are so close to my heart that I haven't ever shared them with anyone, but still remember them as real as if they were yesterday. I think some people would think I was crazy if I told them I had seen my dead sister and grandma standing at the foot of my bed in the dark of night talking to me. But I believe that it can happen. There are times when the vail is so thin, and I think at those times that anything is possible.

Now that I'm an adult I find solace in knowing that we are an eternal family and that I will have my sister for all eternity. When I'm having a hard time, or need some quiet alone time, I will go up to her grave and sit and think. It's such a peaceful experience for me. I love going up to her grave to put flowers on it. I love knowing that even though I've never met her, that she loves me so much and that she wants me to do all I can, along with the rest of my family, so that we can all return and be together with her. I wish I knew her. I wish I had her in my life. I wish that I had her as an example of how to live. I know that she is an amazing daughter of God!

I think I would make an awful missionary. I have a hard time understanding why people wouldn't want to accept the church, knowing that they can be with their loved ones again. We have all lost someone we know and love, or will eventually, and it's hard. I would have a hard time hiding my dumbfounded look when they chose not to be a member. I would want to ask them "Don't you love your family? Don't you want to live with them forever? Don't you want to know you can see your baby, your mom, your sister, your grandpa again? Then why not accept the church?" I know it's not that simple, but to me it is. I love the promise of eternal life. I love the hope of eternal families and look forward so much to that day. I would do anything to have Shelby with me right now, but since that's not possible I am doing everything I can to live worthy to have her again someday. I don't have all the answers, but I know I love Shelby and that I want to live with her and my entire family again someday! That knowledge is enough for me right now and gives me the most hope to keep trying. I have wished at times she could be here to give me advice and help. I try to be a good big sister to my younger sister and brother, but at times I wish I had her to show me what a good big sister is really like. She is perfect, and I love her.