Music to Soothe the Soul

All my life, I have enjoyed listening to uplifting music. As a teenager, most of the tapes I owned were along the lines of Michael McLean's music, "I Walk by Faith," etc.

As an adult, most of my CD's are by Mindy Gledhill, Cherie Call, Hilary Weeks, Jessie Clark Funk, and other LDS singers and songwriters. Driving in the car or mixing up meatloaf, nothing lifted my spirits more than singing along with music that was relaxing, beautiful, and uplifting.

Then, last year, a dramatic and tragic event occurred in my life. It was sudden and painful. I started having panic attacks, and I was in a terrible state of mind. At first, I thought putting on a CD with beautiful, uplifting music would soothe my soul, but it didn't. In the time I needed comfort most, I was surprised that it wasn't coming.

I quickly figured out the problem - anything that tugged at the heartstrings in any way induced panic attacks and emotional pain. I found myself searching through radio stations to find music that would dull my senses. Any time a love song or a soft ballad came on, I had to quickly change the station. The harder and courser the beat, the better I felt. I had to draw the line at hard rock, since my kids were almost always with me, but I was shocked that I actually felt better listening to that than I did listening to the music I have always loved.

This trend continued for quite a while, but over time, the effect music had on me slowly shifted back to the way it had always been in the past. Unfortunately, before I had really gotten back into the habit of listening to softer music, the CD changer in my car broke, so for the last several months, I've still been listening to the radio, and the music I'm listening to on a daily basis still resembles what I started listening to a year ago.

I was thinking about all of this the other day while I listened to the playlist Melanie has set up on this site. It really hit me how much of an effect music can actually have on us. Back when I was in Young Women's and Seminary, we heard a lot about choosing the music we listen to carefully. I always thought it was mostly about the words and messages that are conveyed in that music. But I've come to see that that is only part of the picture. The tone and beat of the music can actually change your state of mind, your mood, and your thought process.

So in the last week or so, I've been experimenting with listening to different kinds of music to see how it makes me feel. And I've found that what always worked for me in the past still works for me now. Turning on a CD that contains not only beautiful messages, but also a beautiful tone and sound, makes me feel more at peace. My life doesn't feel as hectic. Negative experiences throughout the day don't seem so bad anymore.

I'm not saying that LDS music is the only thing anyone should listen to. In fact, this past year has been a good experience for me in finding different kinds of music I like. Sometimes a song with a good, strong beat can make me feel more playful and fun. And even a rough song with a rugged beat and scratchy vocals could be just the thing you need at times to escape a moment of pain. When I'm depressed, sometimes the worst thing I can do is put on a slow ballad. In those moments, a more upbeat, fun song is a better choice.

There is a lot of good music out there, and it doesn't all sound the same. The most important thing I've found is just to evaluate the music I'm listening to and the mood it's creating. Just being aware of how it affects me is a great blessing. I'm better able now to choose the music I listen to carefully and match it to the mood I want to create at that moment in my life.